Thee Ancient art of ONE-SHOTS (ON HOLD)
by DrLevoda
Summary: Welcome! WELCOME TO THE ANCIENT ART OF ONE SHOTS! Accepting ideas & OCs! Also accepting chocolate, because you know. IT SO DAMN DELICIOUS (WARNING: Contains inappropriate stuff, weird stuff, infinite WTF moments, and inception) ENJOY!
1. Wtf First One-shot

"Hello!" said an annoying robotic voice. Mike looked down and saw the small animatronic.

"Fuck you." He said, smiling.

Mike walked towards the managers office, once outside he knocked.

 **KNOCK**

 **KNOCK**

 **KNO-**

"Come in!" Mike opened the door and walked up to his manager's desk.

"Tonight is my fifth day, once it's over, I quit." The manager nodded as he went for another cracker, but before he could reach it, Mike slapped it off his desk.

"FUCK YO CRACKER!" Mike left the room and headed towards the entrance, glaring at the animatronics on stage, and the child one by the door.

-11:57 AM-

Mike walked to the office, an angry look on his face.

"I just had to work at a fuckin' creepy Pizzeria!" he mumbled to himself. Mike reached his office and sat down on the chair, soon it became 12 o'clock, and he had to fight for his life. But this time was different. Mike had a 12 gauge shotgun on his back, a lightning rod at his side, and two Desert Eagles in his hands. "COME GET ME BITCHES!" He yelled, stepping into the hall. Mike walked down the hall and to the front of the stage. He looked at the animatronic scum on stage and yelled, "HEY FREDDY FUCKER! EAT MY HEAVY LEAD!" Mike aimed at the animatronics and fear appeared on their metal faces.

"Oh pwease mister night guard, don't get mad." Freddy said in a baby voice, earning two shots in the head from Mike. "You mutha fu-" Freddy said before he powered down and fell to the floor. Mike looked at Chica and aimed at her, she cowered in fear. Mike just smirked, ready to fire, before he heard someone behind him, he thought it was balloon boy. He turned around and fired, but it wasn't balloon boy. It was Yo Uncle.

"That's how he died? A crazy night guard?" said a teenager.

"Yup. The killer's name was Mike Schmidt, he's in prison now, matter of fact he's yo daddy's bitch. I feel bad for him." the teenager looked at her mother in confusion.

"Why would you feel bad for him?! He killed your brother!" he exclaimed in shock.

"My brother was a rapist! I don't give a fuck about him!" the teenager slapped her.

"How could you talk- Oh wait he was a rapist?" he asked. His mother nodded. "Oh. Well then fuck him, but back to the point, why do you feel bad for Mike?" his mother chuckled.

"Your father had a disease that made certain part of him incredibly huge and small. Your fathers co-"

"What the hell? Someone wrote that?" Mike asked.

"Yeah, oh look there's BB." said Freddy.

"Hey BB, sorry about Tuesday." Mike said as he scratched the back of his neck.

"Fuck. You." BB punched Mike in the crotch then slapped him and walked away, leaving Mike clutching his jewels.

"Ow." He managed to say. Freddy held in a laugh and turned back to the computer.

"Let's look at the next One Shot, hm. A land of Bitches... It says it's a Yaoi fanfic about you and me, whatever that is."

"Tonight on 11 o'clock news, we talk about an animatronic and night guard from Freddy's Pizzeria. They commit suicide after apparently reading a YAOI fanfiction that had a lot of sexual things, including bondage, torture, rape, and very fucked up sex. More tonight. ON CHANNEL 8 NEWS"


	2. A bit of YAOI! And weird stuff

Requested by: StallionOfShadows **WARNING: YAOI! WARNING: YAOI! DO NOT READ IF YOU DON'T LIKE!**

Bonnie was in the back room, sitting down and contemplating his life at the Pizzeria after he was replaced by that silver bunny.

 _'They said I wasn't being replaced, but I know I am! But I can't feel mad at him, but I don't know why.'_ he thought to himself, with his head resting on his fist.

There was a knock on the door making Bonnie snap out of his thoughts and stare at the door. He heard another knock and walked over to the door, which he opened and saw the Silver bunny. Silver had his usual attire of a blue scarf and aviator shades. Bonnie wanted to smiled, for some reason, but he held it back.

"Hi Bonnie!" he said in his bombastic voice.

"Ugh, what do you want Silver." Bonnie replied.

"Can I come in? I want to talk to you." Bonnie rolled his eyes.

"Whatever." Bonnie moved aside and Silver stepped in, closing the door behind him. And locking it. Bonnie got suspicious and waited for Silver to talk, but the silver bunny just kept walking towards him, until they were almost touching noses. Bonnie got a funny feeling in him and wanted to move closer, but he didn't, Silver did. Silver moved closer until there lips were touching, Bonnie was shocked, but this felt so good, so right to him, so he kissed back. Soon they were passionately kissing against a wall, sticking there synthetic tongues into each other's mouth. Silver rubbed Bonnie's crotch as they kissed, almost making Bonnie moan.

Silver moved Bonnie over to the only table in the room, and bent Bonnie over it. Bonnie was shocked by Silver's action.

"W-What are y-you doing?" Bonnie asked Silver, who just smiled. Bonnie gulped, getting Silver's idea.

"Open up~" Bonnie complied and opened is rear hatch a.k.a his asshole, and Silver smiled even bigger. "Now just relax~" Bonnie did what he was told and Silver put the tip of his member in Bonnie's rear hatch, then slowly moved it deeper, until he was all the way in. He let his member rest in Bonnie's rear so he could adjust, then he started slowly thrusting, in and out. Bonnie tried not to moan, but several escaped him as Silver went faster, making Bonnie moan more frequently and loudly. Bonnie enjoyed Silver inside of him, so much he couldn't speak, only huff loudly. Silver chuckled at Bonnie's state, and started going faster, hitting Bonnie's prostate every time.

The sound of slapping, moaning, and heavy breathing was the only sound in the room. Both bunnies were in a state of pure ecstasy when they both came. Bonnie's cum shot straight in the air and fell on him, Silver came in Bonnie's rear until his cum was pouring out. Bonnie sat up once Silver pulled out and looked at Silver, who was getting a rag and was cleaning up their mess of cum, which didn't take to long.

Silver threw the rag away and walked up to Bonnie, then kissed him, but it was a quick kiss.

"What time is it?" Bonnie asked. Silver looked at the wall clock behind Bonnie.

"About 2:54." Silver responded.

"Crap, I have to do a show, I'll see you later." Bonnie said as he head towards the door. He was about to open it when he heard Silver approach him. Bonnie looked at silver, who was right in his face, except Silver didn't have his aviator shades, or scarf on. Bonnie looked at Silver's green eyes.

"Wait, there's one more thing I want to do." Bonnie looked at him confused, before Silver grabbed both sides of his head. "I want to do. THIS." Right as Silver finished that last word, he ripped Bonnie's head off. Silver watched Bonnie's body fall to the floor and dropped his head. Staring at the decapitated head, he laughed a dark laugh. "Well, I should probably get back, I have a show to do." He said as he put on his shades and scarf. Taking a look at Bonnie's dead body, he grinned. "See ya."

"WHAT THE FUCK! Silver can you believe this shit?" Bonnie asked.

"NO! I mean, I don't have a bombastic voice!" Silver said, earning a stare from Bonnie.

"That's not what I was talking about."

"Oh. That stuff."

"Yeah. Wanna try it?"

"HELL YEAH!" Silver answered, but they stopped speaking when they heard someone step into the security office they were in. It was.

"YOU HAVE BEEN TARGETED FOR TERMINATION! ARGH ARGH!" It was Arnold Schwarzenegger, with a minigun.  
The bunnies screamed, then got shot, from ARNOLD ARGH ARGH!

"That's all bros! Thanks for watching! Bye! OH wait! One thing." the youtuber took out a pistol and aimed it at his head. "FUCK YOU MARIA! Also, remember to like, favorite, and SUBSRCIBE!" The man pulled the trigger, and was dead. Then Arnold came in and uploaded the video to youtube after taking a selfie with the man's dead body.

 **Why the fuck did I write this? I need a nap.**


	3. Tiny Lemon, JB, and more WTF

**Lemon requested by: The Derpy Fox (I think Ole' Derpy Fox is a pedophile. Hey who said that? Not me, it's you)**

 **FREDDY'S WHORE HOUSE**

"Oh~ yeah~ Marionette!" BB moaned as the puppet penetrated his rectum. "Harder~ Yeah~" BB started breathing heavily, along with the Marionette. They were currently in the back room, BB was bent over the table with Marionette on top of him, sliding in the partially out, rapidly. BB gripped the table, feeling close to an orgasm. Marionette continued to thrust, also close to filling BB's rear with cum. In one strong thrust Marionette came hard into BB's rear, this pushed BB over the limit, and she came. Her white fluid poured out of her slit and onto the floor.

Marionette pulled out of her rear and wiped up all the seamen, once done he stared at BB. Then he started spazzing out, sparks were going everywhere. Seconds later they heard a countdown coming from Marionette's body.

 **5**

 **4**

 **3**

 **2**

 **1**

 **BOOM**

Marionette exploded with the force of an atom bomb, leaving only a radiation filled crater where he once stood.

"Who the fuck would make this?" Marionette asked.

"I'm gonna through up." BB said. "I mean, why am I a girl? It's Balloon **BOY**." Marionette laughed.

"It say's right here: Starring: Balloon Bitch, and Tentacle Master Marionette." BB gagged.

"I'm gonna kill whoever wrote this." BB said.

"THEN KILL ME! I'M RIGHT HERE!"

BB and Marionette turned towards the voice, and saw, the one and only, the rich and famous, all mighty, super fucking awesome, beautiful, smexy, opposite of everything I described, the exact horrible opposite, Justin Bieber.

"Oh. My. God." Marionette said.

"It's JUSTIN BIEBER!" BB said in an enthusiastic voice. "Let's kill him." Marionette and BB's eyes turned in to white dot as they stood up and pulled out a slapping sword, which is basically a long steel rod with a rubber hand on the end. The two animatronics chased the screaming Bieber around the Pizzeria, with every animatronic joined in. Eventually they all cornered him.

"Hey Justin." Freddy called.

"Y-Yeah?" He responded in a high pitched voice.

"We're going to bitch slap the SHIT out of you, then we're gonna spank you, and stuff you with bananas. Guess how we're gonna stuff you with Bananas? BY STUFFING THEM IN YOUR VAGINA!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH." Justin Bieber screamed in a girl high pitched voice. "NOT MY VAGINA!" The animatronic who were approaching him stopped and stared.

"What?" Freddy asked.

"Not my vagina?" Bieber replied.

"Oh. Well guys, you know what to do." Freddy said.

"FUCK THIS SHIT I'M OUT." They all said in unison, before pulling out pistols and shooting themselves in the head, leaving Justin alone.

"Oh my." Justin walked over to one of the dead animatronics and picked up a gun. He/She shrugged. "Welp, ain't got nothin to live for, why not." Justin aimed the gun at his head. "FUCK THIS SHIT I'M OUT!" He pulled the trigger, and they were all lying dead on the floor.

The manager whistled a tune as he opened the door to the pizzeria. He got it open after some struggling, and went to his office, but he stopped half way there when he saw a pile of bodies.

"Oh shit." He said as he looked at the animatronics and spotted Justin Bieber. "I can't deal with this." He said, taking out a .44 Magnum. "Fuck it." He shot himself in the head and everyone was dead.

THE END.

 **What. The. Actual. Fuck. Welp, there you go The Derpy Fox, there's your lemon, it would be longer, but it's so pedophile stuff. I want to say, pretty much every one-shot will have weird shit, unless it's an idea that can be a chapter that's at least 500 words. Anyway, time to go watch youtube.**


	4. The Immortals

"Bonnie, I need to tell you something." said a certain bear

"No I need to tell you some-" Bonnie was interrupted by a loud crash near the entrance. They looked over and saw a baseball surrounded by broken glass, that was from the glass door. Seconds later a figure in an old baseball uniform walked through the broken door and stopped in front of the stage.

"Hiya folks! Billy Mays here!" The animatronics stared, it was their hero, dead hero to be exact. He was standing in front of them, rambling on about cleaning products. "And you can see a big difference between Oxi Clean and piece of poo."

"BILLY OH MY FUCKING GOD WE LOVE YOU!" Chica said as she god down on her knees and started worshiping Billy, the other animatronics followed suit. Billy scratched his neck and pulled out a package of four Oxi Clean containers and started placing them in front of the animatronics.

"There will be a tug-o-war challenge! The winner gets all four of these Oxi Clean containers." The animatronic bitches nodded and went to go get some rope.

The first round began, it was Freddy VS Chica, and they were ready to win.

"Go." as soon as Billy said 'Go,' they started tugging, so hard. They pulled and tugged and they never gave up. They would never surrender. Freddy saw that he was winning, so he pulled harder, but so did Chica, she pulled him all the way passed the line they drew. Freddy just froze, then he thumped down to the floor and said no, for a very long time, one minute 43 seconds to be exact. Billy sighed, walked over to Freddy, and pimp slapped him, next thing everyone knew, was that Billy Mays turned into Snoop Dogg, pimp style.

"S-Snoop Puppy?." Bonnie said as Snoop walked closer to him. When Bonnie said this, Snoop froze, then he ran at Bonnie and jump-kicked him, in the face. The sudden momentum caused Bonnie's head to fly off, and bounce around. All the while Bonnie's body fell to the floor.

"Bonnie! Snoop Puppy you are gonna PAY!" Freddy said.

"It's Snoop Dogg damn it! Oh, fuck you." Snoop ran at Freddy as Freddy ran at him, they both threw a punch at each other and managed to hit the other ones head, causing both of them to fly back. Snoop flew all the way out the window and into the hands of a white nerd fan boy, who was smelling him. Freddy flew towards the stage and made a big hole, which dragged him down to the depths of hell. The only ones left were Foxy, Chica, and whoever the author wanted, so an idiot with an ak-47. Foxy took the gun and shot the idiot, next thing he new, thousands of zombie idiots were swarming into the building, and all Foxy had was an ak-47.

"Hey Foxy! Flick that switch." The author telepathically whispered in Foxy's head. Foxy obeyed and flicked the switch, which was followed by a voice that said, 'Infinite Ammo Cheat: Enabled. Instant Kill: Enabled. Epic Fucking Katana: Spawned.' The katana spawned in Chica's hand. There was a moment where Foxy looked at Chica, and Chica looked back. They nodded and ran into the horde, killing a bunch of idiots. Foxy shot so many and Chica had cut the shit out of them, in the end, they were covered in blood and surrounded by dead bodies, then the police showed up and saw the mess.

"You are under arrest!" said an officer. Foxy flicked the same switch and enabled god mode for him and Chica. The police screamed in fear and blindly fired there weapons, then Foxy flicked the switch again and enabled explosive ammo and explosive melee. Chica and Foxy ran at the cops and, to put simply, killed them.

"That's how they started." A guy at a space bar said.

"Thank god that was so long ago, a space pirate like that, well, it would suck to come across their paths." responded another guy.

"Aye, it would." Said someone with a pirate accent. The two men turned around and saw two figures, covered with cloaks.

"Who the fuck are you? Were you listening in?" The first guy said.

"Yes I was." the cloaked figure replied.

"You mother fucker! Listening in like that is punishable in this sector, you're gonna pay!" said the second one, who then threw a punch at the cloaked figure. Once the mans fist recoiled he held it in pain. "What the hell. Ow, fucking hell, what are you, made of metal?" the cloaked figures laughed.

"Yes." they took off their cloaks to reveal two animatronics, in pirate attire, they both looked badass. Everyone in the bar froze, familiar with the story. Though they didn't see any weapons, except for a sword that the chicken had sheathed, but the fox took out a small button. Then pressed it. Suddenly a tricked out Ak-47 modded with lazer rounds appeared, that's when everyone knew they were going to die.

"B-B-But that's impossible! That story was based 5,000 years ago!" The fox chuckled.

"No, it was based 7,424 years ago. That's when we first became immortal." The fox looked at the chicken who nodded. They immediately started shooting and slicing everyone, including the police that came, except the fox and chicken teleported before they could be caught.

There was a survivor, who spread the word. That's how they became feared throughout the galaxy. It's how everyone found out about...

The Immortals


	5. Mike's Time at Freddy's: Continuation

Video Journal #1

"Uh, hi. I-I'm Mike Schmidt. Um. I don't know what to say, this is the first recording of... What happened, in my coma." The man on camera, Mike, had bloodshot eyes, it looked like he was recently crying. "The things that happened in my coma, were amazing. It was great, until the end, when I woke up. So, this dream, where should I start?" Mike rubbed his eyes.

"How about Freddy Fazbear's Pizzeria. In my dream I became a nightguard, I was supposed to guard the animatronics, even though they weren't just robots. They could think, and feel. They had emotions. In the beginning they tried to kill me, but we came to an agreement, later there was a break in, where 4 of them were damaged. I repaired them, they thanked me and we sorta became friends. Then one day my friend came to me, his name was Scott, he talked to me about how he teleported, which he showed me. Later I found out I had telekinesis, then there was Vanessa. She lost most of her memories, all she remembered was waking up near my work with the thought of me and Scott in her head. She somehow knew about our powers." Mike rubbed his eyes again before the clip cut to him staring at the ceiling, before looking back at the camera.

"We befriended her and found out she had powers of her own, she had telepathy. It was pretty cool, she could speak to you, make you do things, kinda like that old guy in, what's it called, X-Men, the one in the wheelchair. Anyway, one day we were at a coffee shop and a guy came in was going to rob the coffee shop, but Vanessa talked to him in his mind, she stood up after the guy said he wouldn't shoot or something, but he shot at her, luckily I caught the bullet. With my telekinesis of course. The guy shot several times before I threw him out the window, again, with my powers. He stood up and shot electricity at me, though I was able to catch it. Next thing I new a man appeared, grabbed the guy, then disappeared." There was a beeping sound and he reached over and stopped it, then he grabbed a bottle, took off the top, and took two pills, followed by water. He put the water back and cleared his throat.

"Later, we met two other people, in London, they could control and summon fire & ice. Well, one had fire the other had ice. Um, oh yeah, I forget when but there was a break in at the Pizzeria, three people, I detained them with my power of course and I called the cops. Let see, I found out I was an alien, and so was Scott and Vanessa. How I found out? Slenderman, he was my brother, also that man that disappeared, was also an alien. His name was Levoda and he was basically a god. I learned that we were from a whole other universe and that this one was created by Levoda, that was his gift, manipulating reality while also creating it. The other people with powers were put here by him, we had a choice to leave, but we all stayed. Next, the end. There was a man, Jeff, he was a serial killer wanted by the police. I got him arrested and decided to free him, wrong choice. He stabbed me in the back of the neck, cutting my spinal cord, killing me instantly, so I couldn't fix myself. Next thing I know I wake up in a hospital bed and find out... IT WAS ALL A FUCKING DREAM! NONE OF IT WAS TRUE! WHAT THE FUCK LIFE?! WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SUCH BITCH! AAAHHH!" Mike hit his desk repeatedly, now in tears. There was another beep and he flicked his arm, launching the alarm clock across the room, except he didn't touch it. Mike looked at his hands and smiled.

"It wasn't all a lie." said a voice from behind him. Mike turned around and saw none other than Levoda himself.

"L-Levoda?" the man nodded.

"In the flesh." He said.

"B-But how? I though it was all a dream. Does this mean...?" Levoda looked at the floor.

"It wasn't a dream, I was borrowing your conscience and putting it into my universe, however, you were pulled back. This universe was created by someone else, and there is only one person strong enough to do that." Levoda said.

"Who-Who is that?" Mike asked. Levoda took off his sunglasses and looked Mike in the eyes.

"His name, is one of legends, he is supposedly the first of our race, he has the ability to manipulate reality and create universes, like me, except I have restraints, things I can't ever do. But he doesn't he can do anything. I can only move your conscience to another universe, but he can move your physical body. His name, is... Rapture. He is around 50 million years old, immortal in every universe." Mike stared.

"W-Wow, um, I just wanna ask... How are Vanessa and Scott?" Mike asked.

"Fine, except they're sad they'll never see you again." Mike's mouth dropped.

"What?! I thought you could move me back, I mean my conscience or whatever!" Levoda sighed.

"I can't Rapture is keeping you here. I think he wants to find y- Yup, he just spoke to me. He want's you to find him, he says he has a mansion in some woods, but only certain people can see it. He wants to find the mansion, he also says to follow the impossible." Mike rubbed his forehead.

"Can you tell Scott and Vanessa I'm fine and that I will get back to your universe?" Levoda nodded.

"Goodbye Mike."

"Goodbye Levoda." Levoda disappeared and ended up in a pasture where he was a naked handsome guy with a huge pen- **Damn it Levoda! How can you even do that? It's Rapture's universe!** Hey, he allowed me to, I dunno why, ask him yourself. **Whatever! Back to the story.**

Mike sighed and walked over to the video he was recording.

"It seems I'm going on a trip." Mike said before pressing a button.

The video immediately stopped recording once the button was pushed.

 **This chapter is supposed to be like a teaser, this is the beginning of the sequel to my first story,** ** _Mike's Time at Freddy's_** **I'm gonna eventually start writing it, but until then, you're gonna have to deal with reading this shit. Please leave a request, guests can leave reviews on this story, so no matter who you are, leave a request, Ideas are always appreciated.**


End file.
